“Why can’t we just get in?” I hear that all the time, from people of all colors, shapes, and sizes. This isn’t a race issue, nor is it a gender issue. People enjoy their freedom, they enjoy living their life the way they want, and when your job is the gatekeeper and you hinder or even deny entry to where people want to go, people want demand answers. When you provide them with one that isn’t deemed adequate or acceptable, very few people are okay with walking away. On the other end of the spectrum, someone will tell you they feel disrespected and will show signs of aggression as a means to intimidate you to get their way. There is no scale in terms of what answers given are deemed adequate or acceptable. Let’s face it, people have a hard time being told, “No.” *

When people get an answer that doesn’t satisfy them, they often get upset and lose the ability to relate and look into the situation from the other person’s perspective. To most nightclub bouncers, keeping communication to a minimum while still being clear and respectful is the most effective way to handle situations. Throughout the night, I’ll be asked where the bathroom is over a hundred times (not an exaggerated number), be asked to escort people who have lost all their fine motor skills as well as some of their gross motor skills, deal with bodily fluids, break up fights which sometimes includes getting hit, take selfies with other club attendees, and to diffuse situations where two or more parties of people want to hurt each other because there’s no better way of getting your point across than making someone bleed. Yes, I signed up for that, and I knew what I was getting into when I filled out my W-2, but that doesn’t mean I’ll allow someone to degrade me. Stress, anxiety, anger, and frustration usually build up over time, just like it does for every other human being. Working in a nightclub only accelerates the build up. This is why being concise is the way to go. We want to minimize that build up. We want to be able to get through the night without any problems. Honestly, we just want to go home at the end of the night, maybe grab a snack, and head to bed. Scouts honor.

When someone doesn’t get their way and won’t accept, “no” as an answer, people throw tantrums. This is where the fun begins. By fun, I actually mean seeing the worst in people. This usually comes out in the form of insulting, mainly by way of stereotype. Granted, the stereotypes of doormen aren’t pleasant things. If you asked anyone off of the street of legal drinking age, you’ll be told that we’re big, angry, have no patience, resort to violence as a means of response because we’re incapable of intellectual thought beyond operating a microwave. I’ve also heard that we have no people skills; that being prudent and reasonable have gone the way of the dodo bird for members in our industry.

My personal favorite comes from psychology majors who often love to tell us that there’s an underlying problem behind all that anger and rage. That it most likely stems from a childhood problem and our parents failing to raise us as functional, normal everyday human beings, and that we wouldn’t have to work a job like this if we were properly indoctrinated into society. Second place runner-up is insulting how much money we make. People love reminding us about how shitty our lives are because we only make a fraction of what they make. **

As insulting as that is, some of it holds true. Some of us are big, some are angry, and some are control freaks that have problems communicating clearly with people. I’m not justifying their actions when a bouncer does go crazy and continues stomping on an unconscious person’s head after they’ve been knocked to the ground, but a lot of these negative stereotypes come from an era where delivering a roundhouse kick to the face Roadhouse-style was considered normal. When I worked in Las Vegas, I’d talk to the veteran guys and ask them about stories of nightclubs in Vegas before the EDM scene blanketed the strip. The consensus of what I heard was that it was an animal house. People were getting broken off twenties and hundreds like candy during Halloween. Drug usage and binge drinking ran rampant, and that if you did something wrong, you were hauled off into a room with no windows or cameras and had several large men beat the shit out of you before they kicked you out. But it’s not like that anymore, well except the money, drugs, and alcohol. People are getting sued left and right for the most asinine reasons. If you walk into an establishment where it looks like the owner got together with several investors who each committed a large amount of money, chances are you won’t find a lot of short-fused, hotheaded bouncers you’ve been accustomed to seeing on television. If you walk into a dive bar by the airport that is known to be a den of prostitution and prone to several shootings, those kinds of places tend to govern themselves accordingly, take that however you will.

But remember, it’s also our job to assess you, your friends, your sobriety, your behavior, and your choice in garments for the night. It’s our discretion that will dictate whether you will be let in. Will you cause a problem? Will you be rude and disrespectful? Any respectable establishment will put their full trust in their doormen, so speaking to a manager as an attempt to get your way will only make the doorman hate you more and stay cemented in his decision on not letting you in. I could go on and on about people and entitlement, but I will save that for another time.

Lastly, we want you to have fun because most importantly, we’re still a business that requires you to spend money in our venue for us to stay afloat and have a job. Be nice, be polite, don’t be completely hammered when you get to our establishment, dress nicely, and bring girls because it never hurts to come with women. Be nice to the doorman, get to know his name, and that’ll carry you far with nice incentives like not having to wait in line, not having to pay cover, the list goes on. A girl once brought me cookies that she baked earlier that night, I never made her and her friends wait in line again. We’re still people. We laugh, we have tough days, and we like fun. And remember, if you’re not let into an establishment for any reason, it isn’t the end of the world. There are plenty of places that will gladly accept you in their place of business. You’d be surprised on how many people forget that.

* – When I worked in Las Vegas, the majority of the time guys weren’t let in was because it was a gender issue. Las Vegas nightclubs are multi-million dollar businesses. I once saw a man spend over a million dollars for champagne alone. A nightclub full of guys doesn’t look good. Nobody enjoys a sausage-fest. So in Las Vegas or other popular nightlife scenes around the world, it usually is a gender issue. But that discussion is for another time.

** – If you insult and look down on other people because you make more money than them, you deserve an entire migrating flock of birds to shit on you, your car, and everything you love for several years. Seriously. Where are the psych majors slamming these assholes of society for being pompous douchebags?